I'm happy if he happy

I don't know what should I do, I don't know how my feeling, I want he, n I love her but I don't want close with her, because, her story about someone else make me hurt, she don't know about my feeling she think I don't want him n I don't love him, that is WRONG, why her act show me like he don't care about me n he keep enjoy with her act that get me hurt n hate her. but altough like that, I don't want lose her I just want make her smile out of her face.

Arghhhhhh WHAT SHOULD I DO !!!

sometimes he show me about her feeling to me, that she like love me care about me but that its maybe just a one day, even just a few minutes, after that
I feel she's gone from me, I don't know how her way thinking about me from first time I meet him I don't know how her way thinking about someone like me he make me very confused. maybe he just a thing unreachable for my heart n maybe he just my heart's shadow. he there for me, if i don't anymore thinking about her, but when I very want thinking about her, n I want beside her, he go off hand from me huhhh it very grievous.
At this time, no matter what, I don't know what should I do, I just want with her although her act get me hurt,

"I'm happy if he happy"

i'm very happy if I get close with her, I feel like she is mine but the real doesn't like that, huhh that is just a fool hallucination haha, why I can think like that, why i'm like this again... why I couldn't as formerly. every I with her, i'm glad always see her smile, but sometimes if he tell about her Ex, I just like want to say, that "I TIRED TO HEAR IT!!!" he don't know how become like me, i'm bored becoming FALSEHOOD. arghhhh I very want to say i'm jealous if her act like that n tell about another to me huhh but I can't, i'm afraid if I like that he don't want be with me again.., argghhh it foolish, all its wouldn't change like my hope. because just I can't show to her.
Loser become me now...



Tulisan dengan bahasa inggris mawut.....tapi jujur aku malu kalo di bahasa indonesianiin...hahahaha

maklumi......kadang malu mengungkapkaan perasaan.....it ok!!!!

BALADA CHATING TENGAH MALEM

asli, tadi sebenernya dari jam 11malem gw udah ngantuk berat. tiba2 iseng nyalain chat fb, padahalbiasanya gak pernah gw nyalain. trus diantara temen2 gw yang terlihatonline itu, ada satu, sebut aja Putu yang lagi kuliah arsitek di ITB.awalnya cuma ngomongin soal perbedaan kehidupan dia di Bandung sama Surabaya (Orang bali yang lahir dan tinggal di Surabaya), and then obrolan berlanjut ke macem2tema. seru banget sampai gak sadar udah 4 jam kita chatting. dari yangasli ngantuk banget, sampai sekarang gw malah seger banget. 

padahal gw harus tidur. 

tapi gimana dong, gak ngantuk nih :(

PLEASE HELP ME! 

*littel -enno-*

selamat hari minggu, semuanyaaaaaa :D